Ratiocination

Dictionaries ready? The symbiosis of ratiocination and pure emotion. I think that statement is an oxymoron. Yet as I find more and more I live in a state of contradictions. I feel like a Rembrandt painting. I have high highs and low darks and the transition between them in nearly non existent. But really, I know Karen and I have had many discussions on this topic but it just keeps coming to my attention. We also had an interesting discussion about how guilt gets to us, though it isn’t often we really feel guilty about a certain situation, we end up feeling guilty because we don’t feel guilty. I think another discussion about creative thinking and productive thinking applies nicely to this as well. Just as in this discussion where one has to really think about where to draw the line between what is creative and what is productive how do you make a line between ratiocination and emotions, or intuition.

Back to my statement about high highs and low darks, I realize that made me sound like I’m bi-polar, but I wasn’t talking about it in that instance. I meant more of how I constantly change my mind about things, I can be set on something and then in an hour totally change my mind. That is a very odd characteristic for me since as long as I can remember I’ve always been very firm on my decisions, well thought out and precise and defined and it was very rare they’d change. I’ve also noticed a change in me where I don’t show extreme emotions anymore. I wonder what all this says about myself or my current state of affairs. I wonder if it’s just a stage in life or a new set of beliefs. I guess time will only tell. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; being so constantly aware is rather annoying and brings about frustration, though I’m not entirely sure I’d trade it for ignorance. Emotions can seem to voracious to one’s logical mind, which I think is the problem, how do you validate something that doesn’t seem to make sense, but what in this world makes sense and how do you define sense in the first place? I think my brain has had enough for now.